The Storm Watch
Memory Loss – Nov 26, 2020
Thanksgiving dinner at my brother Nick’s was a little unnerving as Mom had some memory loss and weakness on one side. Shortly after, when she fell it was as if the watch switched to a warning and we knew it was something more serious.
The Flash Flood
Diagnosis – December 7, 2020
The local clinic ordered some work to be done so there was a hospital visit in the morning and then as if floodgates had opened, the diagnosis (Cancer – Stage IV) brought a river of tears and some very unsafe driving to get us all in one room with her by that evening.
Prognosis – December 23, 2020
Merry Christmas! Dr. Naihgeb’s good news renewed our hope as we hung on every word he said. Christmas was so special. The drive through Irvine watching Mom & Dad hold hands and all of us singing Alan Jackson’s Let It Be Christmas was unforgettable. Weeks of family time… cooking together at their house, prayer, singing with Mom, (very little sleep) waves of love, and laughter as we prepped Mom, Dad & the house for radiation & recovery.
911 Call – February 6, 2021
I was visiting my daughter Savanna. Her mom-in-law was sharing about reconnecting with the young ladies at church, since COVID was starting to settle when my phone rang. Dad said they were taking Mom by ambulance to the hospital. She couldn’t breathe. Maybe I should not have driven directly to the house and gone in to help. There was absolutely nothing I could do. I felt helpless and so afraid, but I had to be near her.
Code Blue – February 8, 2021
Someday I will be able to write about this, but for now all I can say is that the sights and sounds of that tornado will never fully leave me, that the whirlwind of fear and a thousand other emotions we experienced is indescribable, and that if we had not had our faith and each other to hold onto, we would have all blown away.
Healing – July 19, 2021
Looking back over all of it now (about 8 months out from the first warning signs) the storm of loss turned our whole world upside down. The fog afterward was thick and it still feels endless at times. It’s beginning to lift, but some days all I can think about is the storm.
When I feel like I’m drowning in my tears I remember…
Luke 8:24 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. 25 “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”
Who is this? He is our Savior.
He is holding Mom safe in his arms where all is calm.
Eventually, I will praise God with my whole heart again because Mom taught me to.
Job 1:21… The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.
The words to one of her favorite songs will sustain me today …
One day at a time, sweet Jesus, that’s all I’m asking of You. Just give me the strength to do everyday what I have to do. Yesterday’s gone, sweet Jesus and tomorrow may never be mine. God help me today. Show me the way. One day at a time.